In loving memory of Hasina Ali

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

We begin by praising Allah swt and sending peace and blessings to our beloved prophet Muhammad (sws)

In loving memory to the greatest women, I ever met Hasina Ali (Rahimuallah died 5/02/2016)

It was a grey, rainy, gloomy day when I went to see Hasina. I wore a burgundy top which did not compliment my skin color but clearly, she saw passed that. When I first laid eyes on her I was taken back by her smile and beauty. The bedroom door was deliberately left open whilst we asked questions to establish compatibility. We instantly hit it off by having similar taste in food with alignment in career aspirations and education.

Upon further questioning, I quickly knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. We subsequently married on 5^th August 2007.

Our marriage was ecstatic, full of mutual love and respect. We travelled to many countries enjoying each other’s company, food and cultures. The more time I spent with her the more my love grew. She displayed impeccable characteristics which mirrored the books I read about the wives of our beloved sws, in particular Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her). Her respect and love towards myself and my family is still spoken about to this day. My father and mother often shed tears when they reminisce about the love and affection she showed them.

After enjoying each other’s company for a few years, we decided to start a family of our own. We plan and Allah is the best of planners! Hasina suffered a few miscarriages which only cemented our love for each other. Every pregnancy was filled with heightened anxiety due to the first miscarriage. She was pregnant again and this time passed the crucial 3-month stage and there was an element of relief.

We began the exciting process of purchasing newborn items. She loved shopping at Mamas and Papas. This was a very joyous and exciting time for us as we both were very excited to be parents for the first time.

We started to accommodate our home to fit the lifestyle for a newborn. We coordinated the cot in line with baby furniture and freshly painted the spare room. The room was ready for our newborn, and we were overly excited for its arrival.

We were given an inducement appointment which we attended, and I felt finally, the time has come for us to hold our newborn. The nurse checked for the heartbeat of the baby, and her facial expressions demonstrated concern. There was an awkward moment of silence! She then uttered those awful words……… Words which no parent wants to hear. “I am so sorry”

I was unable to endure the pain and to prevent breaking down in the presence of Hasina, I left the room. It’s at this point I felt Allah swt gave me a powerful reminder through an intermediary being a very close friend of mine who happened to be next door. He saw I was distraught and gave me words of comfort which gave ease to a broken heart.

I quickly came to my senses and attended Hasina, and we comforted each other. Hasina had to experience the grueling emotions and pain of giving birth knowing the result is a dead child. I vividly recall that awful moment of silence opposed to the norm of a cry from a newborn. That for me was by far one of the greatest pains I faced but to my astonishment Hasina’s reply was I have lost my first child, but I have a loving husband! We named our daughter Yasmin Rahman, and she was still born 22^nd Dec 2010, the same birthday as her beautiful mother Hasina!

Just when I thought our love cannot grow any further, I was wrong. We had a different profound love. A love which had grown together through calamities and by loving Allah. Yes, by the grace of Allah we decided to perform Hajj together. It was both our first Hajj and may Allah accept it, Ameen.

Upon returning from Hajj, we decided to try again for a child. AL-Hamdulilah we were blessed with our first child, Ayaana, who incidentally is a spitting image of Hasina.

We wanted Ayaana to have a sibling, and we tried again with another miscarriage. Finally, Hasina was pregnant again, and we purchased a bigger home to accommodate our newborn. We plan and Allah is the best of planners!

This time Hasina was under the care of a specialist. She was approximately 4 months pregnant, and we went for our normal ultrasound scan. I quickly noticed several different clinicians were coming in and out of the hospital room. I asked what was wrong and to my shock they said the baby is growing fine but there are serious complications with the mother. They sat us down and said those horrific words which still to this day ring in my ears! “Hasina has cancer and is terminally ill.” I was in denial and demanded a re-scan and got a second opinion. I explained she went to work a day earlier and how can she be terminally ill but commute to London for work? This was beyond my comprehension. They used various diagnostic equipment’s to confirm their findings. I clearly recall numerous clinicians coming together, holding medical notes and sitting us down. They then gave a prognosis of 3 weeks. Upon them leaving, Hasina said “take care of Ayaana and make sure she receives my wedding jewelry.” We prayed in the hospital room and whilst standing in prayer, I collapsed from extreme distress. “Take care of Ayaana” is all I kept hearing.

I refused to believe their findings and arranged for Hasina to be transferred to a London Hospital. In this London hospital, they too confirmed the prognosis. They denied chemotherapy treatment with the justification it was too late. I sourced various herbal treatments as an alternative, but I could see Hasina was massively deteriorating by the day. I tried my utmost to not show concern in the presence of Hasina, so I did my research about bowel cancer whilst calling upon my lord. I could not take the pain of giving up so as a last resort I decided to take her to a private hospital to see a high-profile oncologist. I vividly remember that day as I received a call to say the baby has passed. I was unable to grieve for my unborn child as I had to be strong for Hasina. As I sat in front of the oncologist who read the findings from his peers and looked at me and said, “tell me what I will see when I see Hasina” I broke down and said, “you will see a beautiful woman with honor and dignity.

A few days later Hasina Ali gave her last hug to me saying “I love you and to look after Ayaana.” She passed on 5^th February 2016 (Rahimuallah) during the early hours of holy day Friday at the age of 34 with her unborn child passing a few days prior.

Her funeral was attended by the masses and to this day people comment about the amount of people attending her funeral. Her sudden death left me, our family and colleagues from her employer heart broken.

Ayaana was 3 at the time of her mother’s death and I vividly recall those words. Words of an innocent child just simply asking for her mother and wanting to know when she will be back. Ayaana slept next to me and upon finishing reading her bedtime story, she asked “Where has mummy gone” I tried to keep my composure and couldn’t find words to say to her, so I said she has gone to the sky. She asked when she will be back and if we can see her. I said, she is with Allah and won’t be back. My child simply turned to the other side and didn’t say a word. As I write this, it breaks my heart as I clearly remember that day.

Hasina’s story does not end here. In memory of Hasina, her employer moved premises and named the center, “Hasina Ali Learning Center”

Readers its approaching 10 years since the death of my beautiful late wife and not a moment passes that I do not think about her. Every prayer I make, I ask for Allah to raise her ranks.

I am sharing these deep distraught moments which are very emotional for a reason. That being, cherish moments with your spouse and connect with Allah (God). I am standing due to the connection I have with Allah, and these trials have only further deepened my love for him. I know with certainty there will be ease for me and child very soon. Ameen.

In loving memory to the greatest women, I ever met Hasina Ali (Rahimuallah, died 5/02/2016)