It’s Okay To Grieve

It’s Okay To Grieve

Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things to have to go through. The loss can leave you feeling empty and alone.  It is a common cultural belief is that it is not acceptable to outwardly express grief. Some may even have been advised against crying or showing their emotion, preventing you from sharing your heartbreak with others.

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) suffered many losses in his lifetime, including six of his seven children and his beloved grandchildren, too.

When Zainab’s (RA) son was dying she called for her father, the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him).

The child was lifted up to the Messenger of Allah (SAW) while his breath was disturbed in his chest. On seeing that, the eyes of the Prophet (SAW) streamed with tears.

Sa’d bin ‘Ubadah said “O Messenger of Allah! What is this?”

He (SAW) replied, “It is compassion which Allah has placed in the hearts of His slaves, Allah is compassionate only to those among His slaves who are compassionate (to others)”

[Bukhari]

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also cried when his son Ibrahim died as an infant.

Ibrahim was in his last breaths and the eyes of Allah’s Messenger started shedding tears.

Abdur Rahman bin ‘Auf said, “O Allah’s Messenger (SAW), even you are weeping!”

He (SAW) said, “O Ibn ‘Auf, this is mercy”. Then he (SAW) wept more and said, “The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord. O Ibrahim! Indeed, we are grieved by your separation”.

[Bukhari]

The greatest man to ever walk the earth, the man who is closest to our hearts grieved for his children and grandchildren, so it is okay for us to do the same. However, we must always remember Allah in our grief and refrain from saying anything that would displease Him. This is demonstrated in the following ahadeeth, Ibn ‘Umar (RA) reported:

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) visited Sa’d bin ‘Ubadah during his illness. He was accompanied by ‘Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Auf, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas and ‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with him).  The Messenger of Allah (SAW) began to weep. When his companions saw this, their tears also started flowing. He (SAW), said, “Do you not hear, Allah does not punish for the shedding of tears or the grief of the heart, but punishes or bestows mercy for the utterances of this (and he pointed to his tongue)

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

We need to be patient and seek reward in our hardship. Allah, the Almighty, knows of our pain and will reward us greatly for exercising patience. Indeed, He promises Paradise for those who adopt sabr.

And (He) will reward them for what they patiently endured (with) a garden (in Paradise) and silk (garments).
[Surah Insan 76:12]

All of the above show that it is okay to grieve and to feel upset at a loss. If you would like to speak to a sister in confidence, please contact us via telephone or email.

 

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